Emotionally speaking, 2017 has been quite tiring. From late January to early October, I found myself trying to reestablish a *MAJOR* service on my job that was “disconnected” for reasons that collectively reminded me of a cross-over between the Twilight Zone and Office Space (1999). ? For nearly nine months, I encountered roadblocks, setbacks, detours and dead ends, all in an effort to “get things back to normal”. I did more than my share of “Other Duties As Assigned” without the need for being micromanaged. Yet as a recovering perfectionist (Libra), I mustered up the strength to stop performing the responsibilities of those “inside the box” (?) because I was only stressing myself out searching for “brown” needles in a haystack. ? I think it was half-way through this entire ordeal that I begin to come to terms with where I really was. YOU ARE HERE?!? ?
You Are Here
During this time period, I completed two important milestones career-wise. First, I reached 20 consecutive years in the same industry – ten of which were with the same employer. Interesting enough, its strange how the things we thought were important, really aren’t. Just last year, I super excited about such an accomplishment because I had a different set of goals running in tandem with these. In other words, I had other “irons in the fire” that would lead me closer to wholeheartedly living out my LIFE’S PURPOSE. Yet when “celebration” time (x2), I found myself covered in drama (?) leaving me with just enough energy to muster up a “Whoopee de doo!” ? I didn’t have the energy to care anymore!
Since everything happens for a reason that EXPERIENCE left me “heart wrecked”. On one hand, I was counting my blessing as I reflected on how I came in at the bottom rungs as a lowly technical assistant two decades ago and was now in the uppermost tiers as a assistant director. Yet the joy had long since left. I had to finally admit that I was in a place solely for comfort. I was no longer happy in what I was doing. Over the weeks and months, I continued to examine the shadows of my career and of my life, only for my eyes to be opened to the deeper intentions of the those around me. In the end, as I connected the dots, I didn’t like what I saw. I would soon learn that there were others like me. Others who felt like they were out of place too. When the others started to come forth, I found the courage to settle within my own heart a long overdue debt. I sent out a Universal SMS – “SAVE MY SOUL” for my LIFE PURPOSE.
Don’t get me wrong! I can do my job since I’ve progressively advanced over the past 20+ years. The job itself was the problem, it’s the people, which has forced me to examine myself, to extract such behavior from my own BEING. Even among my leadership peers, I no longer had a desire to fit the status quo. I no longer play amused at the things that they found interestingly. I didn’t even find their jokes funny – and I don’t think I ever have. At some point, maybe nine months ago or maybe it was nine years ago, I subconsciously stepped out of the box and wanted more. I wanted something different, deeper, more meaningful even if it meant being an outcast in the process.
Why Am I Here?
Why am I here? start echoing in the back of my mind and HERE had a much deeper meaning then a JOB. HERE wasn’t just about an employer, it was about a SENSE OF PURPOSE. Why am I here and how do I get here?
I begin to repeatedly ask mySELF such questions. For example: “Why am I here?” might yield an ego response of “A paycheck duh?!?” whereas “How do I get here?” might yield: “Because you gave up on your dreams.” Of course, we all have financial obligations. But surely the reason, each of us has a LIFE’S PURPOSE that exceeds a paycheck, right?!? ?
Why do I feel like a foreign in an industry that I’ve worked in for two decades? Why do I feel like my opinion isn’t valued because it doesn’t align with the thoughts, beliefs, and actions of others? Why do I feel devalued?
At the end of the day, the Universe (?) must surely has something better for me (and you), right?!? Something more in line with our LIFE’S PURPOSE and our DIVINE DESTINY!!! Its time out for feeling lost, alone, and disoriented! It’s time to attune to the vibrations and frequency of the Universe, but the answers, the people, the resources, the opportunities are here and simply waiting to physically materialize, so STAY TUNED TO YOUR CALLING because your CRY FOR HELP has been heard and processed. Never, ever give up! ☮