Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going?
Throughout the years, questions such as these often force me to stop and assess my current position in life. After spending days, weeks, sometimes months contemplating, I’d proudly walk away thinking I had finally found the “correct” answers to my life’s direction. But it wouldn’t be long before another trial would come and I’d find myself “retaking” the same test. Well last week, I found myself back in the “classroom”. The only difference is that this time the experience has been quite DIFFERENT!
It’s no wonder that this latest “initiation by fire” would make its “grand debut” at the onset of the summer solstice, which depending on your location began on June 20th or the 21st. Ironically enough, “in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), fire is the element associated with summer, and it has the power to give light, and to illuminate our inner being as well as our external world.”1 With that said, fire either stirs up/shines light on our gifts or its burning off impurities. Therefore, a “trial by fire” is a very intense process for those willing to withstand the heat. ?
Once the “boiling” ensues, there’s no stopping the thoughts, beliefs, memories, and programming that will certainly float to the surface. Its not so much about “goodness vs. badness”. If its “coming forth” then its likely because you need to face it and/or let it go of it especially if it no longer serves you. This particular fire’s aim is to heal and restore areas in which we are in misalignment with who we really are (Higher Self) by “reaching and consuming” even the remote recesses of our hearts and minds. Actually, the term intense is not even strong enough to explain this “inner fire” process since it could leave even those around baffle by our “light” or scorched it “truthfulness”.
Unfortunately for those around us, unless they too have endured such a trial, then they couldn’t possibly understand what is happen to and through you. Instead of being discouraged by their lack of awareness, let them continue to focus on the mundane (or lower frequency) things of life while you continue to “plunge into” higher levels of consciousness (a.k.a. greater awareness of yourSelf) with or without them by your side. In other words, few people will get thjs shift you are undergoing if they’re on a different frequency – or worse, if they’re still asleep (a.k.a “oblivious to their surroundings, oblivious to the shift”).
“Awakening is possible only for those who seek it and want it, for those who are ready to struggle with themselves and work on themselves for a very long time and very persistently in order to attain it.” ~G. I. Gurdjieff (1866-1949)
Trial by Fire Explained
“Fire — symbolizes cleansing and purification, but it is more than a symbol. Material fire is the symbol, and the fire of Spirit is the reality. The whole universe is alive with a divine, living, spiritual energy that consumes all the dross2 of sense and materiality. It is a fire that burns eternally. Because this is true, some have assumed that disobedient, sinful persons are to live forever in everlasting torment. But if the fire is eternal, the dross is not, and when the error is consumed the burning stops. The fire consumes only when it meets anything unlike itself. In purified man, it is manifested as his eternal life”3 (emphasis added).
In my recent “test”, I found myself no longer searching for the so-called right answers. In other words, any answers that did not leave me with a better sense of Self meant more dross remained. Throughout this particular trial, I have had to come to the realization of how easy it is to become comfortable with life’s general offerings. I guess I should have known this “test” was coming because a few days before the solstice, I was gently reminded by Spirit to not assume the worse. Early on, I was being comforted with under-, inner-, and overstanding that I’d undergo advanced spiritual training and that any “trials” seemingly coming from nowhere did not mean that I had “fallen short”. Whatever was arising from within or without, whatever was boiling over and out, needed to and there was no need for alarm, fright or worry. I simply need to wake and walk through it; to show up and be present until the process was complete; to know that my spiritual team – like a Lamaze coach ? – was right there overseeing the process and cheering me on. Actually this particular trial is not one that anyone (or anything) can manipulate or try and contain. When the time comes for it to be extinguished, everything that’s left will be “pure as gold”. In other words, do not become dissuaded by the outer changes in the form of long-standing people, places, and things being “burned out” of my life; instead, choose to embrace the inner changes. Enjoy the inner transformation! Its all about a shift from ego to Self-driven. ?
Where’s Your Mind?
During my meditation this morning, the following equation appeared in my mind’s eye: Mindfulness > Mindlessness. Although there are various meanings and philosophies associated with each term, let’s explore these particular meanings.
Mindfulness is “the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something,” whereas mindlessness involves “having no intelligent purpose, meaning, or direction; giving or showing little attention or care.”4 In other words, mindfulness “is the feeling of involvement and engagement…the simple process of actively noticing new things…[however] when people are mindless, they are trapped in a rigid perspective.”5
Mindfulness is multi-facet and involves the elements of KNOWING + FOCUS + ACTION! Even with that said, there is still a huge difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Personally, I’ve been “found guilty” of having the intelligence to know what I needed to do but not having the drive or stamina to put in the “work” to bring it into fruition. Let me add that this is strictly on a personal note. I can go above and beyond for my employer but not for myself and that’s a HUGE PIECE OF DROSS! For when it comes to my personal life’s direction, I have been guilty of possessing have an abundance of great ideas but rarely seeing them through. (Being empathic can also delay the process of “birthing new ideas” because if I’m not feeling something, it ain’t gone happen! ?)
For example: The majority of life has been all about doing what was expected of me:
- Get a high school diploma: ✅ Done! Graduated with honors
- Get a college degree: ✅ Done! Earned a Bachelor’s and two Master’s from a regionally-accredited university
- Get a good job: ✅ Well let’s just say I’ve been employed in the same industry for nearly 20 years.
- Buy a house: ✅ Now how long does it take to sell this thing? ?
Please don’t get me wrong – none of these “things” are bad. But its so easy to get caught up in the “Society says ____” cycle that you missed out on life because your “waking moments” are spent accumulating things of little eternal value. Again none of these are bad but when it comes to being present in your life – IS ANY OF THIS REALLY RIGHT FOR YOU!?! IF YOU GET IT, CAN YOU STILL KEEP YOUR LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE?!? ??? You see – its too easy to get wrapped up neglecting your own life’s garden pursuing what the Jones’s have or in growing comfortable living according to the Matrix-style of programming – “monkey see, monkey do”.
Yet in this “initiation”, Spirit was letting me know that its past time to make room for my Higher Self to expand and contract. I can sense the Universe saying: “Trust Me. Trust that I know and have better for you (and yours). Find the courage to let go of the rat race, the accolades, the prestige, the honor, the 9-5 and all of the other stuff that you’ve ‘acquire’ apart from Me and let Me provide you with a life that is beyond your wildest dreams, meeting all of your needs and much more.” In other words, “THE TIME IS NOW to fully embrace mindfulness in every area of your life!!!”
Mindfulness is not a mysterious or esoteric process. It is simply paying attention to what is going on and around us, and using that knowledge to make choices and take actions that express what is of most important…Mindfulness can be learned by anyone, at any stage of life. It requires us to notice and pay attention to things, feelings, thoughts, people, and our surroundings. It also means we need to slow down our pace now and then, sometimes taking a full stop from our busy lives, and then being present to observe and experience things in the here and now….Until we get clear ab0ut our purpose and then develop the courage to move in that direction, something will always be missing. Discover what that something is and you’ll find the key….”6
2 dross means something regarded as worthless; rubbish; junk.