The Volcano Within

Speaking is the highest vibration of the physical body.” 
~Edgar Cayce

One of my greatest challenges as a highly sensitive person is allowing things to brew before I blow – oops I meant to say speak. 🌋 Being raised in a Jezebellian environment only reiterated the whole “keep your mouth shut because nobody cares what you think” philosophy. It also laid the foundation for a child for believing that my thoughts weren’t of any value; therefore, my words should not be taken seriously. Yet plenty of times since then until the present, I’ve spoken up. Sometimes to no avail but I’ve slowly but surely learned to open my mouth and speak up even if the words that flowed sometimes don’t seem to of my own consciousness.

Its been going on two decades since I’ve been under the direct influence of the house of Jezebel and I’ve come a long way at sharing my truths but I still have a long way to go. Nevertheless, I’ve come to know some hard truths of my own. One of which – not everyone wants to hear what you have to say. 🙉 Now, why are “we” like that? Simply put, to hear a truth requires acknowledgment followed by responsibility and action.  [bctt tweet=”Simply put, to hear a truth requires acknowledgment followed by responsibility and action.” username=”drjaketha”] When others don’t want to hear what’s being spoken its either because they simply don’t want to take ownership or it’s a message too early for them but nonetheless is still important. Case in point: Back in the late-90s while living in my first apartment, I took the day off to attend a half-day small business marketing workshop sponsored by a local TV station. Within 15 minutes of arriving home, there was a knock at my door. A fireman informed me about a suspected gas leak coming from the gas station directly across the street. At the time, they were going door to door as part of a voluntary evacuation. Well so much for being happy to get home, preparing/eating lunch, then kicking back for the remainder of the day. I didn’t know what to do. I tried calling the apartment office but the apartment manager had already jumped ship. Since the apartment complex had at least seven locations throughout the city, she had somewhere to go while the rest of us was on our own. With visions of an explosion, I packed as if it was the end while also hoping that I’d be back home by dark. I frantically threw clothes together while looking around to spot any prized possessions that I wanted to take with me before the big BOOM! 💥

I didn’t want to go to work so I drove around for a bit before making my way to a friend’s job between 3 🕒  and 3: 30.🕞 I stayed in her office until she got off. Since it was Wednesday, we headed to bible study at a local non-denominational church. On this particular night, we would start off with a joint service before splitting up and heading to our respective small groups. My small group was much smaller than the others. There were only four of us – the teacher – a 40-something-year-old married woman of five boys, along with an elderly married couple. At some point during our meeting, we went around the room giving updates and discussing concerns for prayer (requests). Of course, I mentioned about the gas leak. By this time, it had hit the news and that’s how I learned that the entire apartment complex and nearby businesses and residences were now under a MANDATORY evacuation. Luckily, I was at home earlier in the day so I could gather some items. Many who got off from work after 5:00 🕔 weren’t allowed access to their homes and were completely dumbfounded as to why or what they were supposed to do.

Now what I failed to mention earlier back when I was packing, my initial worry was that I’d be forced to go to a hotel. I simply didn’t have the monies for such. I barely had enough cash in my bank account to get a meal at a fast food restaurant – any fast food restaurant. Even worse, I barely had enough credit on my credit card for ONE NIGHT in a hotel that’s if I could even find an affordable room under the circumstances. To be honest, I lived from paycheck to paycheck and had recently experienced a cut in pay so I wasn’t in a position to be “kick out of my home” even temporarily. I had food at home but I couldn’t get to it. Oh, by the way, I shared all of this with my group members. I didn’t want pity. I needed help – at least somewhere to lay my head for the night. But as I talked, I got a multi-layered excuse from the teacher followed by black stares from the collective. Well, that just set me off?!? I went off!!! 😠

My rant is with wanting to know the REAL PURPOSE of the Church. I also wanted to know the point of being a Christian if God wasn’t going to help me and neither was of any of His followers. I wanted to know what was the return on investment – Yes the return on my investment – after having been a faithful tither – not just at that church but at others as well. Actually, I would oftentimes give to the Church when those monies could have easily gone toward a basic need instead. Of course, I said a few other things that might have mentioned race relations/discrimination especially since everyone in the room – and the majority of the church was Caucasian with the exception of myself, my friend, and a married “African American” couple serving as Youth Pastors. 😡 So once I was done, I just knew they would have some answers to these hard truths. 🤔 But lo and behold, all I got back was more blank stares so I went off about that.😂

Of course, before “class” was dismissed, my plight was prayed for – the typical Christian response – and I got up and left. I was done! I needed to find a hotel room and fast. I couldn’t stay with my friend because she lived with her parents but she had already told me earlier that said she wouldn’t go home until I was somewhere safe. As I walked across the church lobby to go find her, the elderly woman from my class called out to me. I stopped dead in my tracks wondering what she wanted. If she didn’t know of somewhere I could stay then I really wasn’t interested in hearing whatever she had to share. She immediately begins explaining her and her husband’s living conditions which wasn’t much better than my own. The next few words somewhat stunned me and I still remember the gist of what she said. She reprimanded me – not for my words but for my anger. (Wait, what?!?) She said, “Don’t you ever get that angry again?” In her explanation, she acknowledged that I had raised concerns about topics that none of them either knew about, had ever really thought about or had answers for. She went on to say how I was special, wise beyond my years because she didn’t know how I could have such deep philosophical insights on the issues that I brought forth. She ended by saying that where ever I ended up in life, that I should expect to be met by more blank stares because I had both a message and approach that would catch many off-guard if not ready for such. 😂 At the time, I didn’t have an appreciation for her words seeing as how I was temporarily homeless. 🙄But now – after all of these years, I get it! Lately, I’ve been getting reminders from Spirit – one of which involves me (in the near future) erupting – oops I mean speaking – my truths (in various formats) on a global scale but that’s for a future post. 🌎

One reminder from Spirit dates back to May 2017 when I did a personal reading on myself. As a result, I pulled the Changer and the Moon Child cards from the Black Angels oracle card deck. The description for the Changer card shook me to the core since it helped me so I better understood the turmoil I had experience throughout my life. A portion of its meaning read: “You are transformation manifested in a human soul. You embody change from deep within…Sometimes you get tired of transformation, but you can’t step out of it because it’s your nature…” 😭 Meanwhile, the Moon Child card, which still gives me chills, still resonates with me today as it did back then:

Moon Child, you are more than a child who plays. Your clarity is so blunt and logical it can shook people at times. You are a truthsayer. You can be so radically honest and forthright that others might think [you] are rude. You expose all shadows, as you Moon Child, are awaken when others are sleep, emotionally and spiritually. Therefore, you awaken others and shake them out of their stupors. You, Moon Child, come to us jumping up and down on our beds, disturbing the illusions of comfort. This sharp edge that you bring awakens and goes deep into the heart in both good and challenging ways. You are the light in the darkness.”

Actually in the past ten (10) years or so, I’ve had complete strangers share similar “prophecies” to/about me and my purpose. As usual – I’d missed the point at the time since I was often caught up in my own little world as Libra’s often are known for. All of this leads to today when I decided to look up the metaphysical meaning of a particular ailment that I’ve suffered from throughout my life – allergies. In recent days, I’ve had a strange, thick nasal congestion but no actual drainage and no breathing issues except for coughing spasms that come out of nowhere. Usually, without warning, I feel a tickle on one side of my throat. It almost feels like dust particles bouncing around in my throat. Clearing my throat does not remedy the situation because I usually get hot at the same time which just intensifies the matter. Sometimes I cough so bad, I start choking. Drinking water may or may not help – that’s if I can stop coughing long enough to get some down. Unfortunately, the worst time for such a coughing spell is right before I’m about to speak. Recently, I resorted back to my usual over-the-counter remedies but they no longer work. (However, eating fruit without any other liquids works wonders.)

Now years ago, I heard of that the spiritual root of allergies (or hay fever) centered around issues with one’s mother. Nah!!! I could relate to that back then but now this explanation wasn’t rescinding with me. Suddenly prompted by Spirit to do a quick Google search, I first came across the Spiritual Meaning of a Tickle in the Throat posted on The Spiritual Living blog by Amanda Meder, followed by the Spiritual Meaning of Illness posted on the Heal Your Life Forever website. On the latter site, it stated that a cough was associated with “feeling a deep need to make a point.” 🗣 Now before I share anymore, I must stop and tell you that I’ve suffered from extreme ringing in my ears (tinnitus) for the majority of life. It started in my teen years. Nowadays, the ringing has advanced and the doctors have no explanation for its source. It typically involves multiple high-pitched sounds at different frequencies in both ears. It never goes away! This is important to know since metaphysically speaking such a condition – when ruled out medically – is often linked with the spiritual awakening process! Now on to Amanda’s post, in which she links throat issues with clairaudient abilities (clear hearing/speaking).

If you have ever noticed a tickle in the throat or a dry cough, and there is no explainable physical reason for this, it’s possible something Spiritual is happening….

Governed by the throat chakra, clairaudient abilities are housed by the energetic center responsible for speaking your truth clearly and hearing the truth of others, clearly….

Spirit can enter into your energy space, merge just ever so slightly with you, and say the words of the Divine right from your own mouth, of if you are writing, right from your own hands.” (Source)

Wow!!!! To all of this, I surrender to Spirit. I won’t run off at the mouth (unless prompted by Spirit of course) AND I will pick my battles wisely but I won’t continue to stand by and remain silent. I hereby allow Spirit to speak through me as I continue to write The House of Jezebel and I am open to any avenues in which the Universe will make available to me for speaking, writing, filming and the like.  🎤📝📘📽 Not only will I strive to listen better (to Source/others) but I’ll also strive to better hear and share that which Spirit would have me to say. So let them that have an ear, hear and beware… 💜 <drj> 💜

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  1. Pingback: Why We Don't Speak - ~ Dr Jaketha ~

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